blabbah, blabbah, hoo-ha!

i dropped a grape.

Mon, 03 Oct 2005 22:33:46 GMT

i wish i went running today.
it was the perfect day to run.
but i figured, eh no.

i wish i was closer to the park.
next semester, come on & get here.

i laugh hard.

Sat, 01 Oct 2005 15:35:49 GMT

the poo-feeling.

hey, 25 most played on itunes.

Fri, 30 Sep 2005 01:36:02 GMT

okay. so fo' real, son.
here's what my life consists of:

these 25 songs.

"fix you" ~ coldplay
"hide & seek" ~ imogen heap
"come alive" ~ steadman
"this love" ~ craig armstrong
"cold water" ~ damien rice
"go or go ahead" ~ rufus wainwright
"in a graveyard" ~ rufus wainwright
"such great heights" ~ iron & wine
"aegis" ~ kaitlyn ni donovan
"kingdom come" ~ coldplay
"used to love him" ~ fiona apple
"ball & chain" ~ martha wainwright
"christmas present" ~ the rocket summer
"close every door" ~ david raintree
"what can i do?" ~ rufus wainwright & antony & the johnsons
"poses" ~ rufus wainwright
"say uncle" ~ vienne teng
"ending song" ~ keren ann
"factory" ~ martha wainwright
"to be alone with you" ~ sufjan stevens
"wither must i wander" ~ martha wainwright
"no. 10" ~ michael lowenstern
"in the shadows" ~ the rasmus
"braille" ~ regina spektor
"i don't know what it is" ~ rufus wainwright

i walk around brooklyn with my best friend resting in my earlobes.
once i have a guitar playing underneath a long melodic line,
life somehow stops being so difficult & becomes light.
not exactly a day at the beach, but certainly not a day in brooklyn.
not that the streets are rough or mean,
but they aren't music.
i need to walk with a pace.
i need to swing my arms in the motion of a melodic line.
on my late walks home nearing 10:00pm
( do you know where your children are? )
i need something to conduct.
i need to wave my arms around like a lunatic,
feel the wind against my cheeks & fingertips,
& become whatever it is that i am listening to.
i do this all to avoid being the only white person in my neighborhood.
i block out the world so that i simply don't exist.
for some reason, conducting La Mer is supposed to make me more comfortable, but all it does is makes me stand out more, but ... what can i say? i love music.

& it's not a coincidence how these songs fell into place.
25 most listened to, eh?
yeah, that's about right.
eight of them were on my mix that i made for my late-uncle.
"close every door"
yeah, joseph & the amazing technicolor dreamcoat.
haha, yeah, i'm laughing. HAHA!!!
oh, & "go or go ahead" is number six?
really? SIX? 6? ES EYE EX?
of course it is.

other than itunes being my therapist,
i'm doing better than i was yesterday.
i sat in my uncle's room for a good hour today.
i feel okay.

:) kait

i should work for livejournal.

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 22:10:44 GMT

dear clicker,

sorry to disappoint you.
no, the link you just pressed did not take you to my webshots account to see some oh-so-happy pictures of my oh-so-un-happy summer nor does is take you to my myspace account where little to no activity takes place because it's a land that i am far too un-social to be a part of.
alas, the link has brought you here:
here to the most self-centered area of all.
the place where people actually think that their thoughts amount to something worth-while; that people will actually be moved by their profound words & thoughts.
the place where people actually jot down what they do day to day & truly believe that people are out there desperately wondering, "WHAT DID SHE DO TODAY? I MUST CHECK HER LIVEJOURNAL BEFORE I DIE NOT KNOWING HER DAILY ACTIVITIES! TO THE COMPUTER!!!" & off they run...

well, screw what people say about livejournal because this place is my town
where i have far too many houses.
sunny_storm. lyn_leann. katonah. _sayuncle. & now oh_banana.
in each home, there is a meaning that lies comfortably.
sunny_storm = passion. if blood could somehow exist on a webpage, well, there lies my insides.
lyn_leann = poetry. i write some pretty bad poems, but i store them there.
katonah = happiness. & if a webpage could collect dust, well Old English has gone missing.
_say uncle = my secret project. shhhhh.

& now, dear clicker, i present to you oh_bananas.
while you sit there considering spinning around in cricles because there's nothing better to do than click on a persons s/n to see their AIM away message & profile for the fourty-sixth time, i'm giving you a little gift.
a place where you can waste/spend five minutes glancing over my overanalyzed thoughts & obnoxious views.
maybe i won't even take it that far,
but i must admit -- i miss having people i know read the things i write.
it feels so good to explode in a webpage,
but it's not too comforting to not have anyone you know witness it to see that you're falling apart & that you may need some help getting put back together again.

needless to say, just as every other journal has a home,
this journal, to put it kindly, will be where i shit & shart.

:) kait.